LIFEBOOK…ONE ‘TIP’ AT A TIME!

EASIER ‘DONE’ THAN ‘SAID’!

Closures. They are extremely crucial phases in every human’s life, which demand to be felt and which need to be achieved. Many a times, things happen, which are contradictory to our liking and which are, to a big extent, disruptive for our lives. We either need to try sort them out or, in many cases, get a closure and ‘move on’. But the only confusion, which revolves around this among many, is, that we seek to achieve closures ‘from’ other people. We feel that we need to ‘clear’ out things and sort out things with the person concerned in order to achieve a closure. And when we don’t get that person to cooperate enough, we tend to lose ourselves in a whirlwind of endless & excessive pondering, cursing & doubting ourselves, sulking and blaming the other person. The vital point what we all tend to forget is that we need no one to end a chapter and move on in our lives. By trying and dealing with the situations ourselves, no matter how complicated they are, we get a very easy way to get closure on things, on people and on situations. It’s not that hard. It’s not impossible. But there is a way, a mechanism we need to adopt, which is, in a nutshell, a complete cleanse of the mind and thoughts. Our thought process needs to alter in a way, that we start seeing life in a very different light. And to reach to that point, the very first step we need to take is, to STOP BLAMING AND BELITTLING OURSELVES. 

Usually, when a relationship, be it on a personal or professional level, doesn’t work out and we think too highly of the other person (or party), we tend to revert back on blaming and doubting ourselves. We are in a way, forced to think that something is wrong with us and there is something lacking in us. Maybe, we aren’t ‘good’ enough. This is where we lose half the battle instead of winning it. To get a closure and to move on positively, without keeping a piece of that situation buried deep within us, we need to maintain our self-confidence. But instead, as we are so lost in that condition, we do the complete opposite and demean ourselves. We start doubting and finding faults within ourselves, even though our mind clearly knows that the other person did us wrong. Wrong. Wrong in our eyes and maybe in the worlds’, but maybe right in the doer’s eyes. At this point, when we have decided to move on, we aren’t judging what’s right or wrong. What we need to focus on is how we can get a closure and carry on with our lives, without overloading our minds with burdens of the past. What has happened has happened. What will happen will happen. There is literally nothing we can do to change that. What we can do, for our inner peace and balance of mind, is detach our present from the mess created around. 

The moment we realize our worth, our confidence jumps right back in to carry us into the brighter side of the chaos. We need to understand the fact, that NO ONE has the right to make us feel small and make us lose our self-confidence. In plain words, no one is worthy enough to whom we should lose ourselves to, to the extent where we lose our identity and doubt our entire being. You had a life before that person, and you will have a life after. God willing, an even better life. Our worth and our view of ourself makes us who we are. Our thought about ourself is the most important feedback we need to follow on in life. Imagine, if we ourself belittle ourselves, how could we possibly expect another being to respect and treat us well? The moment we display our weak side to the outside world, we make ourselves completely vulnerable to the impending atrocities and demeanors the world can throw at us. Here instead of achieving a closure on the first scenario, we make ourselves susceptible to another set of demeaning acts by the world. So the very first stride towards the closure we are desperately searching for is to maintain our confidence and to become our own support system. In this way, the shield we create supports us throughout the process and helps us to settle down from the troublesome state.

Think about it, you owe it to yourself.

To be continued…

'LOST IN THOUGHT'- #3

"Make a conscious decision to wake up with a smile every morning. It will ensure a plenteous supply of remarkable alacrity throughout the day."

-Divya D. Joshi.   

'LOST IN THOUGHT'- #2

   "Stop validating your dreams in the eyes of another.”
                                                                                                              -Divya D. Joshi.        
                                       

Source of picture: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/dreams-can-come-true/images/31082845/title/eyes-imagination-photo

THE 'MASKETEER' ERA- ARE WE BECOMING THE PUPPETS OF CONVENTIONALISM?

Among the plethora of masks wandering this earth, there lie blurred and buried identities.-hidden identities of true natural beings, conduct and understandings.We have come to a stage in life, where we can no longer express our inner most thoughts without the invisible hesitance vibrating through our surroundings. In order not to hurt somebody or to just let go of situations, we tend to put on a concealed mask of conformity, which helps us escape uncomfortable situations. No one wants to be trapped in those awkward moments. But escaping them now, does not mean suppressing them for life. Sometimes, it is not just to ignore some things, but to adapt and gel in our surroundings that we slip into a ‘liked-by-all’ disguise. Is it actually worth losing our personality in the wake of distinguishing ourselves or in adapting to the world? Having a wanderer’s mindset of my own, inquisitiveness defines me. Who or what is hidden behind the reality we witness on a daily basis? Is what we see, real? Or are there hidden truths that underlay the very existence of every being on this planet?
When no one is around, do you behave in exactly the same manner in which you would when 10 other people were around you? Why do we feel the urge to put on a different face when communicating with the world? Again, are we too afraid of judgments? Now I feel, even without thinking or deliberately making the effort, we tend to switch our personalities and mould in a way that would conform to the other. It has become like a part and parcel of our daily being. Being true to soul I guess, is one of the toughest things to pull of in today’s world. We hardly give a chance to our true reflection to showcase itself to the world. In the fear of rejection, mockery and ostracism, we do tend to conform and gel in a way that would be accepted and ‘liked’ by all. I do not say that its just you, I myself tend to put on a different face. I keep questioning myself, why cant I just be and say EXACTLY the words I want to say? What is the worse that could happen? I surely know what the best could happen-I would definitely lighten up my heart and free my mind from relentlessly thinking about a topic. Freeing yourself from the shackles of this worldly conformity is the biggest gift, I feel, we could give ourselves in today’s time.

This masquerade life, which we are leading uninterruptedly, somewhere down the line, is making us lose our individuality. We keep burdening and burying our true self under the ‘known’ and ‘acceptable’ norms of this world. This obstructed view through the eyes of an alien personality simply intensifies the grip of the shackles restraining our inner most feelings and thoughts.
Everyone feels the need to simply break free, not give a damn and just come out with what they truly feel. Venting out your thoughts is much better and healthier than to bottle up the negative flames. The negativity and regret (regret of keeping shut at the right moment), overtime, not only accumulates up till the brink of your patience, but also plagues you up from the inside, slowly turning you into a puppet of conventionalism. This restriction of self definitely does more harm than good. Sometimes, feeling to ‘let go’ of things or ‘overlook’ some things just boomerangs on you later on. Putting on an altered face towards things would definitely save you from the immediate confrontation, but in the long run, it would build up to be an ocean of regret.
So, if you like something? Then say it. Dislike something? Then state it! Life is rather too short to have regrets and to put up with an unnatural display of self. I wonder when or whether that day would ever arrive when we would freely, without inhibitions, just throw away our metaphorical masks and come out with our true personalities! The world, indeed, would be a very,very different place then!

(Image Source: https://plus.google.com/110945012043499521912/posts)

'LOST IN THOUGHT'- #1

'Lost in thought' is a progressive chain of my personal quotes. These strings of quotes will be an annex to my existing iblog.

"Sanguineness is inspiration for the soul to subsist."

                                                                                                                            -Divya D. Joshi.

MISFORTUNE'S MISFORTUNE!

At several moments in life, we all, in one way or the other, have been crazily stalked by misfortune. We all have felt like those extra special people on this planet who have a special bond with bad luck; as if misfortune simply craves us.
But if you come to think of it, hasn't it become just soo comfortable for us to shove blames on bad luck and sneak out of a situation or a confrontation? This blame game that we unceasingly play with misfortune has come to a point, where this distressing situation itself is being misused by us. If anything goes wrong or we miss out on something, without even thinking twice, we instantaneously blurt out- 'Ah, my bad luck!' I am sure, misfortune must be in a ceaseless state of sneezing incessantly (Asian belief reference- if you sneeze alot, that means someone is remembering you!)

Just for instance, your car's engine has been giving you a troublesome time since quite sometime, and you KNOW that you have to take the car for repair/servicing. Naturally, you keep postponing this (#Humans). Then one fine day, you decide to drive down a cross-country highway, with the (extra high) hopes of getting through without any troublesome event occurring...And Alas! Your car decides to break down- (Soo out-of-the-blue for you off course, right? #MassiveSarcasm). You habitually blame your bad luck. Knock Knock! Misfortune had nothing to do with this. Your sluggishness and your habit of procrastination are the two culprits here. Blame your habits here rather than the blameless bad luck!

I simply adore this illustrative piece of cartoon art. It has been so beautifully and simplistically depicted here as to how misfortune has to swallow the harsh reality of repeated accusations. 'Looking at a broken mirror, and feeling worse about your worldly customised persona and simply shoving it on misfortune's shoulders, without even realising that the actual cracks are on the mirror and not in your luck stream'- is something that is fallaciously done by all. 

Like it or not, misfortune is an inevitable part of our lives. And some instances are sheer bad luck. Being maybe an hour earlier (after repeated timetable checks) and then learning that all trains are either cancelled or delayed indefinitely- is PURE bad luck! I do not say that bad luck is anything less than a demented stalker. It surely is. But how much we rely on it to squeeze out of situations, is what i say, has gone a bit too far. Everyone experiences those 'patience-testing' times, when we simply lose focus and blame things on the situation and walk off. But those testing times are where we need to re-focus, and fess up to what we really feel and know. Fessing up to the actual things, rather than beating around the bush, truly makes life simpler. Having the guts to really stand up and have a face-off with reality, not only diminishes are over reliance on cursing nature, but also releases the gush of negativity we build by not being able to come to terms with reality. Blaming is the easy part, whereas fessing up and confrontations are the harder bits on the plate. 

Don't brush situations under the carpet, in the hope of getting rid of them-'Out of mind, out of sight' policy? The hidden pile up might just create a bigger ruckus than it actually would have when it was merely the size of a peanut! 

Misfortune is there to stay, like a part and parcel of our lives. Without it being there, we would never truly realise the value of good luck in life. Just how bad is your bad luck and how much you decide to rely on it as an escape from situations.. depends completely on your perceptional treatment of its existence. 

OVERSHADOWING YOUR PAST OR LETTING THE PAST BECOME YOUR SHADOW ?

Over time, we learn to accept, adjust and move on. Some learn from their past, some cling on to it, and some just see it as an old, done and dusted chapter. But in reality, do you actually let the past not affect you? Involuntarily, we all go through a ‘judgmental-equating phase’ in our lives. Maybe not once, maybe many times. All due to our past imprints. New relationships, new friendships, new jobs…we tend to equate them with our past experience. Why? Its human nature! We are either hesitant, or unsure of how to proceed without judging situations from our pre conceived notions. We all do it. And to an extent, it is fine. One does become cautious in life from previous ‘not-so-positive’ experiences. But does that mean we impose our past on everything new? Do we really need to equate and judge things on what might happen because a ‘similar’ happening occurred in the past? Giving a fresh new chance to life happenings and having a new take on things is what makes up our ‘Lifebook’. Overshadowing your past by giving unprecedented chances to new things in life is what leads to unbiased and fair outlooks on life. Walking hand in hand with ended chapters takes us nowhere. With this, we only dent our potential happiness and new beginnings.

By this, I don’t mean that all past is wholly negative. But we as humans tend to focus more on the negatives than on the positives. We tend to carry this baggage of judgments, misrepresentations and biasedness. “This is the exact same way my previous relationship directed towards, because I did this. So I am not gonna repeat it”—this line inevitably comes to our minds when taking a shot at a new relationship. Why? Because somewhere deep down in our hearts and minds, we don’t let go fully of the things we have witnessed or experienced. We all have a tendency to cling on to things from the past and maybe, bury it in some corner of our brains or let it sway in our hearts for it to be reflected on our faces. This hesitant and cautious approach, though does save us from a lot of mishaps, but in some cases, it just pushes away the very beginning of what maybe a life altering experience.
Our shadow is our part. We feel that only when surrounded by light will we be able to see our shadow. But in reality, our shadow is always with us. It is us! When there is light, our shadow only reminds us that there is a dark side to life too, which we all need to embrace… which maybe… the wrongs in our past? Maybe some wrong decisions we made? The grudges and hatred we might hold towards someone? The so-called ‘dark’ things could be anything. But do we need to hold on to them? Even if they will be imprinted in our subconscious being, we need to unfocus on them in our present. But the real motive of ‘our shadow’ is not to show us the dark side. It is just a subconscious reminder that some things need to be dealt with differently or maybe, that ‘dark side’ is just an old experience, which made us who we are today.... Or maybe, it’s just a memory, which stays with us no matter what.

Overshadowing the shadows of our past by embracing life as it comes moulds us into the person we are today. A person who lives in the past cannot fully explore the realms of life...

Your past is past for a reason. Walk on with it as a memory, reminder or as a stepping-stone which made you what you are today. Like ‘each drop makes an ocean’, every moment experienced makes us an enriched individual. Now grabbing on to the positives or negatives?—that’s up to us!